January 2009
1 post
Jan 5th
15 notes
December 2008
13 posts
Kiss of Deaf →
craytonc inquires about a recent story of a young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend. Wtf? Mr. Crayton, Thank you muchly for your query. There are many documented cases of people undergoing a deep physical or emotional reaction brought upon by any number of unusual stimuli. Why even I still am overcome with feelings of fury and abandonment...
Dec 22nd
wtf?
myownmelt says, “I almost just signed my e-mail to a coworker with a ” <3 ” at the bottom. I have no idea why. It’s certainly not someone I <3” That would have certainly be a blunder. I’m just learning the short-hand vernacular of the world wide web, but this is one that had me particularly confused at first. Then it hit me. What is less than three? “2”...
Dec 9th
2 notes
Dec 9th
wtf...when did it become winter??
sweetiewolfie says, “cold cold cold so cold that one of my car’s nipples was frozen. i don’t think the proper name for them is “nipples” but i am referring to those things that stick out from the hood and spray the washer fluid. right, so one of them was frozen so my car was only spraying out of one nipple which seriously is not as effective as with two. i was hoping to get out of...
Dec 9th
4 notes
UHHH MIZZOU
ohtrouble: WTF? Good evening, my darling.  Thank you for contacting me in regards to the latest football contest featuring the Tigers of Missouri.  While I can surely understand your growing frustration as they appear to be engaging in intercourse with the proverbial canine, take comfort in knowing that their ineptitude in tonight’s competition is little less than could have been...
Dec 7th
Dec 5th
21 notes
Dec 5th
When my mom blames me for snowstorms. WTF?
(via whatannoysus as posted by livesophia.) Hello, Ms. Sophia. I fear I am not quite sure what you are asking of me here but I will do my best to reply. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I fear your mother may be suffering from some form of dementia.  I can recall when Mother was nearing the end, she whispered to me, “Your father was a vacuum salesman.”  Certainly everyone...
Dec 4th
8 notes
i think there should be a law against talking in...
smartblonde says, “I do not want to talk to you while I am going to the bathroom! I do not want you to talk to me! I just want to go about my business and have music piped in at a volume that allows us to not hear ANYTHING. DON’T TELL ME I HAVE CUTE SHOES WHILE WE ARE PEEING. Seriously, wtf is wrong with women!?!? Do boys do this too!?” Dear Smartblonde, I can certainly relate to...
Dec 4th
2 notes
WTF Is This GPOYW?
echolot asks, “What the heck have I missed to not know what GPOYW is supposed to be? Not even Google would tell me. What’s going on here?” You pose quite a puzzler Mr. (or is it Ms?) Echolot. By my best estimation, Gpoyw is a traditional Jewish dish consisting of boiled cod topped with chilled cabbage, and commonly served on matzo. Wagner T. Farnsworth
Dec 4th
i like making rules for myself and others
florajasmine writes, “I got really annoyed when at thanksgiving dinner my cousin-in-law’s father reached out and shook my dad’s hand saying we have a great home. WTF? It’s MY house. I bought it. My mom takes care of it. My dad doesn’t even live there. Bah on patriarchal societies.” Thank you for your question, young lady.  You certainly have reason to rant about such a travesty. ...
Dec 4th
Dec 4th
Welcome to Wagner's Web Log
Greetings.  Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Wagner T. Farnsworth.  I am rather new to this so I imploringly request your patience. Recently my butler Godfrey turned me on to something called a laptop.  Fascinating contraption it is.  He and I spent an entire afternoon using the Google to look up information… such as the origin of the word “cummerbund”.  What a...
Dec 4th